(Photo: moviepronews.com)

Never, ever would I have thought I could find a story about womanizing to be amusing and also enlightening. But fortunately, I occasionally hang out with people who have different taste than mine, and sometimes you just got to take one for the team. About 6 of us on Friday night went to see this movie after work, hoping for a quick escape from reality, and to finally enjoy the movie theatre too conveniently placed around the corner from our jobs. For the bulk of the film we were that group that talked throughout the movie, hysterically laughed at “so-so” punch lines, and made comments about the women’s bodies and style choices – payback to those who’ve done it to me. But in the midst of the hilarity, each woman displayed small doses of vulnerability that I could relate to. If you haven’t seen it, I won’t ruin it for you. There is still plenty to laugh at after reading this post.

Begrudgingly, I have to admit that although the douche bag of a husband did scheme and cheat, the women did some things that made it easy for him to try and justify his behavior. The wife dressed way too comfortable at bed time (plain terry cloth night gowns), initiated disinteresting and gross conversations, while constantly undermining her own intellectual capacity, which gave him a reason to do the same. The mistress’s emotional detachment and focus on her career made it easy for her to give off the perception that she did not require a commitment, because she was too focused on herself to notice he wasn’t around. And, the younger woman just didn’t have enough experience to question the legitimacy of anything he told her.

The good news is that ultimately the female characters are able to tap into their potential and build a great life after experiencing heartbreak. But this success was contingent upon them forgiving, supporting, and helping one another get there. Each woman in the film had the power to greatly affect the other woman’s happiness. Not one of the women could get to that place on their own. I wondered how much farther myself, friends, and family members could be if we simply chose to let things go and encourage each other. As well realize that we all have more in common than what attempts to divide us, and typically we are trying to overcome the same things.

After having a disagreement with someone, you can choose to let the relationship go, or you can be determined and bold enough to put egos aside and find out what the two of you can offer each other. Deciding to love and let in a special person in your life, means way more than the momentary satisfaction we get by choosing instead to judge and keep people out. Encountering the loss of love and the gain of new friendships that each one of them experienced was a requirement for them to get to their next level. The movie also had a strong moral compass. Often these days cheating can be seen as common or not a big deal, and depending on the person, being someone’s mistress could be seen as a coveted role. However, I really respect that in this modern day tale none of the women involved wanted to be the “other woman”.

Is there a time when you had to admit to someone that their significant other was seeing another man or woman? Do tell.

Rachel Bryant Lundy

Almost every day it is confirmed that people are crazy, and truly need consistent prayer with therapy- no really they do.  This weekend I was at a gathering that was meant to be uplifting, but wasn’t able to reach its purpose because the people involved refused to allow it to happen. It wasn’t everyone but the few that did, definitely stole the show. It seemed they felt inclined to get any attention that would distract us from the reason we were all there. I set back with my husband and laughed about eighty percent of the time, attempting to not take any of the antics too seriously. We tried our best to stay on task, along with some others, who were also determined to assist the host with achieving what she planned for that day. When the room would finally calm down and get focused, a “coo- coo” clock would sound off every hour that came to a close. As playful and funny as they are, they can be equally disruptive, especially if a breakthrough is seconds from occurring.  Towards the end of the meeting, we found ourselves debating whether gray hair made someone wise or not. Soon after, the oldest people in the room began to perform, proving that it doesn’t. There definitely should have been some Oscars given out that day. The categories would have been best pretender, most negative, least accountable, and my favorite that I would have won, most engaged but not really engaged.

It got me really thinking about how many people are desperate for attention from others. Never mind if it’s negative, just as long as someone is looking at them, then their mission is accomplished. Or, they insist on being perceived the way they view themselves, no matter the cost. For example, they are fine with being thought of as rude and obnoxious, as long as people still think they are the smartest person in the room.

I also started to realize a lot of people behave in certain ways, simply because no one has ever told them not to. These people allow their insensitivity or over sensitivity make people feel threatened, and that they are not worth the trouble of being enlightened about their behavior. How many people do we have in our lives that we wish we could just keep it real with, if just for one day? Instead we get worried about their feelings and most of all the consequences to the relationship. It’s hard to point the obvious to those we love without getting sucked into their drama, and being apart of a low budget stage play. However, once the selfishness wears off and we think about what’s happening, it’s pretty sad. Just think of how many relationships these individuals may have missed out on that their personal drama prevented them from building or beginning.

And to be honest, some of those performers at the event were family members. While I can have a dramatic side when necessary, I am happy that I left the bulk of the irrational tantrums with the previous generations. They can keep it!

To see if your drama prevents friends and family from keeping it real with you, ask yourself the following:

• How do you react when people tell you something about yourself that may not be positive?
• Are you someone that is comfortable and open to learning the truth about yourself or are you most comfortable being in denial or not addressing it?
• How many healthy conversations have you had with others about what you could work on? Is it routinely or rarely, and why?
• When you enter a situation, do you add calmness or chaos?

I hope I have helped you to begin the removal of self- inflicted drama in your life. We all have bits of it to work on.

Remember…Stay a Busy Bee and share with a Bride to Be

Rachel Bryant Lundy