Never, ever would I have thought I could find a story about womanizing to be amusing and also enlightening. But fortunately, I occasionally hang out with people who have different taste than mine, and sometimes you just got to take one for the team. About 6 of us on Friday night went to see this movie after work, hoping for a quick escape from reality, and to finally enjoy the movie theatre too conveniently placed around the corner from our jobs. For the bulk of the film we were that group that talked throughout the movie, hysterically laughed at “so-so” punch lines, and made comments about the women’s bodies and style choices – payback to those who’ve done it to me. But in the midst of the hilarity, each woman displayed small doses of vulnerability that I could relate to. If you haven’t seen it, I won’t ruin it for you. There is still plenty to laugh at after reading this post.
Begrudgingly, I have to admit that although the douche bag of a husband did scheme and cheat, the women did some things that made it easy for him to try and justify his behavior. The wife dressed way too comfortable at bed time (plain terry cloth night gowns), initiated disinteresting and gross conversations, while constantly undermining her own intellectual capacity, which gave him a reason to do the same. The mistress’s emotional detachment and focus on her career made it easy for her to give off the perception that she did not require a commitment, because she was too focused on herself to notice he wasn’t around. And, the younger woman just didn’t have enough experience to question the legitimacy of anything he told her.
The good news is that ultimately the female characters are able to tap into their potential and build a great life after experiencing heartbreak. But this success was contingent upon them forgiving, supporting, and helping one another get there. Each woman in the film had the power to greatly affect the other woman’s happiness. Not one of the women could get to that place on their own. I wondered how much farther myself, friends, and family members could be if we simply chose to let things go and encourage each other. As well realize that we all have more in common than what attempts to divide us, and typically we are trying to overcome the same things.
After having a disagreement with someone, you can choose to let the relationship go, or you can be determined and bold enough to put egos aside and find out what the two of you can offer each other. Deciding to love and let in a special person in your life, means way more than the momentary satisfaction we get by choosing instead to judge and keep people out. Encountering the loss of love and the gain of new friendships that each one of them experienced was a requirement for them to get to their next level. The movie also had a strong moral compass. Often these days cheating can be seen as common or not a big deal, and depending on the person, being someone’s mistress could be seen as a coveted role. However, I really respect that in this modern day tale none of the women involved wanted to be the “other woman”.
Is there a time when you had to admit to someone that their significant other was seeing another man or woman? Do tell.
Rachel Bryant Lundy