As a close girlfriend of mine walked off the elevator and into the office kitchen area, I eagerly waved to her. When I noticed there was someone that she was talking to behind her, I assumed I would also like that person and began to wave to them as they followed closely. Once I could fully see who the person was, and it registered to my brain that they weren’t one of my favorite people, it was too late. I already said “hi”, and you can’t take back a “hi”. If you’ve ever accidentally waved to someone that you don’t like, you immediately want to kick yourself for making that mistake.
I can only imagine this happens to many naturally happy people, you’ve got so much joy on the inside that you can’t contain it. You smile and wave often, with no time to stop in the middle, just to prevent yourself from interacting with those you deem not worthy of communicating with you.
I was reserving a little bit of bitterness for this individual and when I forgot to use it, oh how my world came apart for about five minutes. I quickly shared what happened with a co- worker and we laughed for a while because honestly we’ve all been there. And when it happens, you just want to shout “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean to speak to you!” While funny enough, practicing bitterness and resentment does more harm than those temporary good feelings that revenge and spite bring.
Yours truly is not crazy, there was a perfectly logical explanation why I wanted no communication with the person, and it involved MY WEDDING. I was deeply hurt by their actions and I wasn’t ready to show that I was “over” what they had done. But ironically, even though they made the mistake, I was making it my problem by holding onto it. In a recent bible study class, one of the points Bishop Stokes taught, is the importance of processing events to move on from them so they won’t prevent us from receiving future blessings.
I’ve learned that letting go of the negatives to set yourself up to receive the positives will take constant self- analysis. In this world we have both good and bad experiences that can contaminate us in different ways. And while there are so many books on the topic of forgiveness that we all should be able to forgive automatically, the reality is, it just doesn’t happen like that. We have to constantly assess ourselves and our feelings to see if we have subconsciously chosen not to forgive and then work towards forgiveness. And as long as we are living and interacting with people, we will always have to take this kind of inventory.
To make more room for the good stuff to enter in your life, ask yourself the following:
- What matters the most to you?
- Has it been affected positively or negatively and by whom?
- What steps could you begin to take that will help you move towards not being effected negatively by the experience?
It’s easy to let go of stuff that is not important, but what are we holding onto that has real meaning or significance to us? You may be surprised how much space these things are taking up and blocking you from receiving the good things that await.
Remember….Stay a Busy Bee and share with a Bride to Be
Rachel Bryant Lundy