Have you ever known a very self- assured person, who was almost obnoxious in their demeanor, and watched their “swag” slowly wither away over the years?  When speaking of these individuals, typically someone ends with saying “they could have been really great.” As if to imply that these individuals suddenly decided to not play the game of life anymore. But, it’s rarely that simple. Most of the time this person entered into a relationship with another person or a group, which distracted them from their goals, and helped to over time assist them with no longer having any confidence. I’ve known a few people like this, and they all vary in age and sex. Believe it or not, we are all susceptible to negative influences that can do harm in the way we perceive ourselves.

When people want you to not feel good about yourself, one of the first areas they begin to attack is your self -image, how you see yourself. Because more than likely, if you think poorly of yourself then they can keep the same kind of control they have over you, or at least the same place in your life. Generally, the people we are intimately involved with want to impact how we see ourselves. Either they want to enhance it, or they want to take away from it.

Having a healthy self-image is what gives you confidence; confidence determines what you embark on or chase after. Self-confidence can slowly be eroded by numerous acts. Being in negative relationships as stated earlier, and being in subservient roles that belittle or undermine your abilities. Even being stuck in a rut can make you feel less confident, and like what you are doing now is the only thing you can do. You may have a job that doesn’t challenge you, but you’ve done it for so long, that you forget you have other skill sets to offer that another company could value. Maybe you have always worn the same kinds of clothes, so trying something different frightens you, and makes you scared to try any new looks?

No doubt staying confident takes time, awareness, and repetition. Often we can’t control the negative images we see, and even may not be able to immediately control our environments. But you can control what images and views you give yourself to think about.  You can’t just read a really uplifting book, and then decide to never read another positive book again. Be mindful to consistently feed yourself empowering thoughts that will add to you having a healthy self-image that will keep you confident.

To better the way you feel about yourself, try doing the following to help begin to become a more confident you:

• Surround yourself with people who see your value, not people who make you weaker, or remind you of your flaws.
• Don’t underestimate the small things. If you know you feel better about yourself when you look nice and wear your favorite perfume or cologne, then do so.
• Feed your spirit.  This will allow you to get better practice in having faith, giving, and receiving encouragement.
• If you make a mistake or have a failure, get back up and keep trying. Nothing erodes confidence like doing nothing after a loss.
• Present yourself the way you want people to perceive you. You can’t control what other people think, but you can control what you portray.
• Go after what you want. Always try, and never settle for what is given.

Remember…Stay a Busy Bee and Share with a Bride to Be

Rachel Bryant Lundy