As usual I am writing about a topic completely different than I started because last week ended on a strange note, triggering me to reflect on the person I am or trying to become. Although I know I’m certainly on the right path, moving in this direction has it’s share of difficult moments. It’s not easy being independent in a world full of followers. It’s not easy standing strong in a world where people readily give in. It’s not easy having standards when people consistently lack integrity. It’s not easy having an authentic desire to help people while others just want to be known for it. And, it’s not easy confronting issues when you could just avoid them. In short, it’s very hard to be me, and I’m sure many feel the same.
I will admit it would be much easier if I was perfect. And, it would make the choice of being who I am seem obviously beneficial. But unfortunately, I am very flawed with no super human powers. I make mistakes, mess up, and feel like I should have handled something better almost every day. I’m great in a few areas, not so good in others, and mediocre in everything else. I can’t even swear by modesty and let that be my “thing”, or act like I don’t care about material things since high quality items appeal to apart of me. And because I am very protective of the people and things that mean the most to me, my inner circle is very small.
Anyone with these human inadequacies coupled with not following the crowd become targets for being judged, or make people question just why we chose to be this way. A way that tends to make people notice everything good but remember everything bad. So what do we get out of it? Why do we strategically move ourselves in this fashion? Well, while it may be tough, this is why I do it.
I’m kind because I like to be treated kindly.
I’m respectful because I don’t like disrespect.
I don’t cheat because I wouldn’t want to be cheated or cheated on.
I don’t treat people badly because I wouldn’t want to be mistreated.
I thoroughly try to think about how it feels to be in someone else’s shoes when I am interacting with them. Genuinely caring about other people without an agenda can take a lot of time and energy until it becomes a habit, especially if we were never taught that we should.
I do believe in the law of sewing and reaping, so I know while I may want for some things, there is plenty ahead. However, I’m not choosing to be who I am because I expect anything in return. I am this way because there is no other way I should be. Being “good” should not be thought of as an afterthought if no one else is around, or if there is nothing else to do. Being “good” should be what we all are striving to be.
Given the responsibility that comes with this way of living, what helps you to be more accepting of yourself and the path you chose is understanding your value and the power that you have to influence and encourage others to do the same. When you do, you won’t question the path your on as much. You won’t compromise when it seems easier, and you won’t put others expectations over what you know is best.
While on this journey we will need to remember to not be so hard on ourselves and others. Sometimes we may not always make the best move, that doesn’t make us weak or unable to handle the game of “good”. Sometimes others may not be used to someone so unique, that doesn’t make them “bad”. And, it certainly doesn’t mean that they eventually won’t help you win at being “good”. Game on.
Rachel Bryant Lundy