Planning a wedding is not for the faint of heart, so it’s no wonder that deciding to move forward with this endeavor, at times seems to momentarily bring more pressure than the thought of being married to one person forever. During my wedding planning process, there was no shortage of people that wanted to share with me their own stories of how they decided to celebrate their nuptials. Much of what we expect to see at a wedding is predictable, but what surprised me was that each wedding I heard about was unique to the couple. From the women that told me about their many bridesmaids or lack of, to the men that were eager to brag about how complicated and expensive theirs was not. However, what was not surprising was that each story matched the personality of the person that was telling it. Everything that they said happened was totally believable. Listening to them gave me the confidence I needed to think I could have the best of both worlds. Suddenly I was up for the challenge of creating a fabulous, yet debt free wedding.
I am without a doubt very different as a grown up than I expected to be as a child. I remember being around age 11 and completely against any thing pink, laced, or with flowers. I never would have thought the 30 year old Rachel stands for all things pink, lace, and adores flowers- sell out. Hence, the 30 year old Rachel’s personality mostly dictated the theme of my wedding.
There were plenty of times that I felt like calling it off and running away with my now husband, but I would manage to convince myself that it was too late, and I was in too deep. Despite the money we had already spent, at times it wasn’t enough for me to commit to pulling off the event. But, it was my husband saying he really wanted to see me walk down the aisle in my wedding dress that made me get over my anxious feelings about my big day.
Ultimately, I am glad I had a traditional wedding but 8 months afterwards, I think I am still recovering from it. Having it was a wonderful gift to give to my mother, other family members, and friends. As much as you may not want it to be about other people, once you see everyone there just for you, they matter more than you thought. On the other hand, I am fully convinced my husband and I would have been just as in love with each other had we eloped. With that in mind, I feel there is no wrong or right way to get married.
To make the decision about whether to elope or not try asking your self the following questions:
- Do you need people around to share this experience with you? There is no right or wrong answer to this question. If there are any feelings of guilt you may have after you answer, immediately talk yourself out of them.
- Are you ready to get married but not financially ready to have the wedding you want? If this is the case, choose love and hold out for the wedding and honey moon of your dreams later. It isn’t the 1980’s where if people didn’t have a wedding right away, they never get around to it. These days people are more financially savvy and make better choices for their future.
- Is the Wedding for you and your soon to be spouse or for other people? As much as we all like to make the one’s we care about happy, your feelings are what matter the most. You will be the one carrying the stress and paying off the bills. Make sure it is something that the both of you really want to do.
I hope my suggestions helped with your decision of eloping or having a traditional wedding.
Remember…Stay a Busy bee and Share with a Bride to Be
Rachel Bryant Lundy
1 Reply to “The Debate over Eloping…. Are you being Smart or Chicken?”
Hi Lil Sis,
Amazing perspective, especially since I attended your wedding and I saw the “VISIBLE EUPHORIA” on your Husbands Face. The involvement of the family & friends solidifies all the attention on the Bride & Groom. I anticipated sharing your “Big Day” and the anticipation was nerve wracking and worth the sun tan.
Amazing to see You “The Bride” in her glory of a day that will always be your day.