Call me “cray cray” but I’m one of those strange creatures that prefers a gift that is pretty, and I can look at forever, instead of a gift that I will have to watch die or needs digesting. And, I’ve never been a fan of the high school graduation or last minute feel that balloons bring to any occasion. These sentiments combined with my background in finance, has me asking every time I see expensive yet corny V Day memorabilia, “what bill or savings account could this money have gone too?” I know, I’m strange or at least, not the most romantic person in the world. Thankfully, my husband leaves the over thinking to me and ignores my conspiracy theories on the meanings of this man- made holiday; otherwise there would be no fun in the Lundy household. I still find it hard to get super excited about this day, originally for lovers only.
Truthfully, my heart is torn over V Day. Yes, I am married now, but I’ve been “team single” for so long, that I still have the wounds from the triumphs and trials of a single girl’s heart. I can recall many times of committing to just sleeping through the day. Being single on V Day is just starting to be celebrated. It wasn’t that long ago that taking yourself out for a wonderful dinner was perceived as you being a glutton for punishment. It was best to stay home, and tell yourself that all dine in restaurants were off limits until the next day. And even though you typically wouldn’t be dining anywhere as part of your daily routine, you instantly resented that if by chance you wanted to, you felt like you couldn’t. Suddenly a few hours of staying in, feels like an eternity.
Having worked in numerous retail stores that cater to women, and currently working next to a popular pharmacy, it’s hard for me to take V Day seriously while watching stores prep for it immediately after Christmas. Immediately folks, GEESH! I’m bombarded with so much chocolate and candy so long before the day, that it almost fades away to background noise, and becomes lumped in with the other items I’ve learned to ignore while perusing down the aisle . How about the running jokes in my head, mocking the many relationships on life support, that use V Day as a way to quickly pump some life back into them. This typically backfires because someone has to ask “Why does it take Valentine’s day for you to show how you feel about me?” And let’s not forget about the relationships that won’t have a chance of progressing, because this one day drops in as a bomb destroying everything in its path. Usually, one person feels it should be celebrated and would be if they were being taken seriously. The other might take the day seriously, but feel it is mainly for people that are committed and love each other, not just starting to get to know each other. Who’s to say which one is right, but typically it is the woman that needs V Day validation, whether it’s genuine or not.
We can’t ignore the awkwardness it causes between close friends, the one that has plans and the one that doesn’t. You can’t be a jerk to your single friend and ask what they are doing if they haven’t mentioned it to you. But of course they will ask what you are doing, which ends up making you look like a jerk anyway, just because you have something to do. This one day can cause a lot of drama. Even those of us who seem above it, are somehow drawn into the antics. As convicted as we are to not care about the day, it only takes one spouse of our coworkers to have something delivered to the work place that makes us run home to make sure were getting something too. And our whole “every day is valentine’s day” mantra goes flying out the window.
However, with all my cynicism about V Day I was able to find some good in it. Not a lot, but enough. Here me out and temporarily forget about my previous case against it. In our current society, where there is bad news bombarding our news feeds all the time, a day that focuses on giving love and appreciation might not be that bad. It also gives our sweetie pies a chance to show their true colors even more.
My hubby and I were snowed in on V Day and the day before. The streets were a mess, but he caught the bus downtown to get my gift. And even though I had a specific request, he was still able to surprise me, just to show me he cared… I’ll stop bragging now. I guess when put that way, maybe we should have more than one V Day a year. Maybe it should be one for every season? With the use of Instagram, Flip gram, Twitter, and Facebook, feelings about love are able to be spread so much quicker, and end up dominating the news feeds that day. Taking our minds off the murders, kidnappings, robberies, etc., even if but for one day. And I’m happy to say the celebration of this day is becoming more inclusive. Now people are emphasizing the love for their children, spouse, coworkers, and best friends. It’s actually turning out to be a day of love, instead of a day just meant for lovers.
I guess the idealist in me is stronger than the skeptic part. And I wish that everyday people treated the ones they cared for as if it was V Day. In hopes of spreading more love in the world, maybe one day we all may learn to love first and love daily. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1st Peter 4:8).” Btw, on this V Day weekend, we were able to make it to two baby showers, YESSSSSSSS.
To better your chances of having less anxiety over future V Day’s, try implementing the following:
- If you are not a fan of traditional gifts, let your Valentine know what items you would prefer in advance. The key is making sure you don’t let them know while receiving their gift. Being unappreciative is never smart, and greatly increases the chances of not getting any more gifts.
- Keep the day in perspective. If you have a true Valentine, don’t make a big deal about it if you don’t get a gift on Valentine’s day. You may have gotten something else that was more important earlier in the week, like rent money. In my book, that counts the most. There is no need to change your values for one day.
- Be clear and honest in your communication with your spouse about what you can afford, if you honestly want to celebrate the day but don’t have the means to. You can still show how much you appreciate them by making a wonderful breakfast or dinner, followed by the best desert ever (wink, wink).
- If you are single, you have two great options. You can ignore the whole day all together. Get some rest and save your money. Sadly, like most holidays now, the one who wins the most are the many stores that are patronized. Tip: If you have friends that have plans don’t be bitter, be happy for them. You never know if they may know your future valentine. They will remember if they saw you give them side eye when they mentioned their plans, or if you genuinely were happy for them. Your second option is to find a group of people who are as pessimistic about it as you and make fun of the day for the rest of the evening.
I hope what I have shared makes your future V Days more enjoyable.
Remember…Stay a Busy Bee and share with a Bride to Be.
Rachel Bryant Lundy