Undeniably I’m guilty of having a few minor anxiety attacks, but at least they are not daily, and are triggered by something substantial-no shade. As I sat in my cubicle, I realized that in 2 weeks and 2 days I would be turning 31. For me, a quiet melt down was in order, which was demonstrated as I stared blankly into space for about two minutes. I had a similar moment when I was turning 21- another quiet melt down, and again I was at work. It had suddenly hit me that I was a college graduate that made $7.25 an hour. I wanted to be rich and famous, or at a minimum make $10.00 more, but I had no idea how to do it. I wanted to be a writer, a designer, and above all things a fashion maverick. My outlook on how my life would turn out wasn’t too positive, since I was currently selling sunglasses to people that wanted to be treated like Beyonce, despite the fact they only bought items in the clearance case. It was all getting to be way too much.

Last year probably would have been a more ideal time to conduct this kind of self -reflection, but I simply had no time to. My birthday was in May, my wedding was in July, and my only thoughts were how I was going to pull it off. Due to all the stress from planning, I only wondered would I still have a fiance’ by the time I got to my wedding day?

Being the competitive person that I am with myself, I recently assessed what I have accomplished so far in my 30^th year. It turns out, besides adjusting to and being happily married- which is no small feat, not a whole lot. But, I’ve now decided to focus on the year instead of my age. This allows me to still end 2014 pretty awesome. I’ve also managed to read a few articles on how I should expect to feel as I enter into my thirties. They emphasized how liberating 30 should be, because your not afraid to say no or say yes. It’s like you are finally giving yourself permission to be authentically you, and I agree. I kind of have this now or never feeling combined with a consciousness of life being REAL. I’ve been in it for 30 years. If it doesn’t end up being what I want, I can’t get out of it, or not easily. So, I better start making it the way I want, or it’s going to be a very long road until I get to the end.

There are some major differences between turning 21 and 31, but also a huge commonality. I still want to be the person that I wanted to be at 21, therefore I am convinced I am meant to be that person and no one else. A major difference is I don’t feel any resentment when reading about millionaires under the age of 30, or entrepreneurs to look at who are under the age of 30 that would previously irritate me. I don’t need to be on the Forbes list of the most wealthy as I did when I was 21. Now, I make all the rules and I tell myself ultimately if I have been successful. Without a doubt this indifference about the accomplishments of others is the result of a more spiritual side of myself that has developed, and knows my steps are being ordered.

The 21 year old me would find it hard to fathom living without having made it onto a Forbes list yet, and even harder to believe that I’m actually quite happy without it. Along with that I’ve been able to survive working in “cubicle ville” with my dreams still in tact. If my life had to stay the same as it is now, I wouldn’t be upset about it. As compared to the 21 year old me, that probably had no idea where to start to find happiness, or how to get to a place of healthy contentment.

I am truly excited to have one more year added to my life, but equally determined to not sit in the back seat when I should be driving towards creating the lifestyle I desire.

It doesn’t take a birthday to prompt you to assess if you are becoming who you want to be, while being just as grateful for being who you have become.  Because at anytime you can say “Hey life, here’s the deal, this is what is going to happen because I’m in charge.”

“I bargained with life for a penny

and life would pay no more,

however, I begged at evening

when I counted my scanty store;

For life is a just employer

he gives you what you ask

but, once you have set the wages

why, you must bear the task;

I worked for a menial’s hire

only to learn dismayed

that any wage I had asked of life,

life would have willingly paid.”

-Napoleon Hill

Remember…Stay a Busy Bee and Share with a Bride to Be

Rachel Bryant Lundy

Why do people root for the bad guys in movies? Why do some people pick a life style of illegal activity? Why do some people choose professions that may have a huge monetary reward, but will inevitably leave them unfulfilled? Some will say it’s because many lack morals and guidance. But a simpler explanation for the attraction is bad guys always seem to look like they are having more fun than everyone else. The allure of fun is typically how most of us learn of or become interested in certain businesses. The level of happiness people display, are excellent representations of how successful we deem them to be. We don’t want to be apart of the boring and grumpy crowd, we want to be around exciting, fun, and upbeat people. The potential of being able to have fun is extremely motivating.

With competing demands it can be very hard to complete things we want to do, while trying to inspire ourselves to do the stuff we don’t like, which is usually no fun at all. Recently, my husband and I discussed our future business plans, but oddly we weren’t excited. This didn’t make any sense because we were not embarking on plans that were not apart of our God given gifts and talents. So, what had stolen our joy about these endeavors?

We figured out it was because we were too busy focused on the outcome, and were beginning to forget about how exciting and fun these ventures were going to be. These self-sabotaging feelings often come before any of us have given ideas a real chance to materialize. Too often we can begin to view something that was once fun as a chore. Little by little our fears and unrealistic expectations can trick us out of being happy that we are moving forward, and taking the necessary steps to fulfill our dreams.

Remember, while every part of a project or business may not be exciting, you should anticipate doing the things you love. Don’t let the idea of hard work or the inability to predict how things will turn out steal your joy.

To keep the good times rolling while working to accomplish your goals, try reminding yourself to do the following until it becomes a habit:

• Enjoy yourself as much as possible while undertaking tedious, but necessary activities.
• No matter the challenges, stay encouraged, and keep in mind why you wanted to do this in the first place.
• Do your best, have fun, and don’t be overly focused on the outcome.

Remember……Stay a Busy Bee and Share with a Bride to Be

Rachel Bryant Lundy

You may be wondering will people be whispering at my wedding “She couldn’t afford real ones” or “They look so cheap, where did she get them from?” if you choose to use artificial flowers. If you decide to use real flowers you may wonder if people will say “She didn’t use enough” or “She should have used a different kind”. It’s easy to agonize over what people will say on your big day. There are a lot of factors that go into deciding whether or not to use real or artificial flowers. But, a factor that should definitely not be one is the “people factor”. I will admit at one time there may have been a negative stigma when using artificial flowers but thankfully the world of wedding designing has evolved. And now the more common terms used for fake flowers are silk or artificial and they are becoming increasingly popular. Tip: Your choice of using real or artificial flowers in your wedding should be based on your preference, your design theme, and your budget not what will people think.

At the beginning of your flower search keep in mind the kinds of flowers that will most easily work well with the colors of your wedding. Then, begin to consider availability. Based on the amount of flowers you want, if they are real, certain ones may not be in season. If they are artificial, they may be in a limited supply from a retailer. Tip: If you plan on being creative and have a specific design theme in mind, it may be safer to use artificial flowers. If you want a more elegant affair then real flowers always add a special touch and are best for large budgets.

            What I most love about flowers is that even if you have never been a person that really liked them, you will find that with so many choices you are bound to find a combination that you will love. You can be bold, understated, rugged and country, or glamorous. Tip: You can use flowers to say a lot about yourself and the groom. Don’t be afraid to have fun and let your personality shine through. However, unless it is intentional and you are using a combination, you must have the same flowers displayed throughout your wedding. Once you pick a style of flower, it is best that you stick with it. Having a different style of flower appear out of nowhere may not be noticeable to your guest but it has the ability to drive you crazy.

To make sure you get the most out of your flowers and do not regret your decision, try to do these 3 things:

• First, to save time and money decide on the flower that you like the most based on the color choices of your wedding. This will help you stick with your initial vision and prevent you from changing your mind half way through.
• Secondly, to avoid being surprised, thoroughly research the prices of flowers based on the amount that you will need for both real and artificial with 10 percent extra. This will leave room for error or an unexpected change in design.
• Lastly, do not underestimate the impact flowers make on your special day. Avoid waiting untll the last minute or being indifferent and letting someone else make the decision for you. Without proper planning it can leave a lasting negative impression on your pictures, memories, and overall wedding experience.

I hope I have given you a good start when thinking of where to begin in regards to your flower search. You can never go wrong when you make the choice that is best for your wedding, not other people’s expectations. Flowers may seem like a small part of the wedding as compared to your dress or location, but it is the small things that make the big things even better.

Remember….stay a Busy Bee and share with a Bride To Be!

Rachel Bryant Lundy